when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
