I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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