hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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