your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
