just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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