Where are you?
In a non slutty way
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
