I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My vagina just clenched in fear
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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