Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
