Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Houston, we have a squirter
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
