Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
