If that was your dad, he is hot
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
