I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
