Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
