But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
