You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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