The maid of honor just puked.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i dont even know how to be here
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
