If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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