I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Let's get the cat blown out
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
