Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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