Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm too high and old for this...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
