16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
