Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
