Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
