wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
