We got so high we made milksteak
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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