I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
