I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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