wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
