I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
