and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
