K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I skipped work to stalk him.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
