I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
