i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
