There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
