just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
