Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
