On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
