That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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