I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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