Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
