So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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