i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize