my vag is so smooth its legendary
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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