U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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