please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
