Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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