I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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