I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
