I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How does it feel to date your dad?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
