Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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