I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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