Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize