i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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