a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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