Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
