Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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