you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
