I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
