That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
