walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize