Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
